Being Dumped Sucks, but It Could Be the Best Thing for You
So you’ve been dating someone you met from online at this website or any one of those thousands of dating sites for what feels like ages. You laughed at each other’s joke, you met each other’s family, you even talked about moving in together. To you, everything was going great! So it’s understandable that when your now-ex calls you to break up with you, you’re a bag of emotions — mainly hurt and furious.
What if we told you that, while yes, getting dumped does suck, but it could be the best thing that to have ever happened to you. Before you click that back button and vow to never read anything from us again, hear us out! Having your heart broken does contribute to a slew of negative feelings, but there are some reasons why you should find that silver lining.
1. It Humbles You
If ever you’ve been dumped or shot down, you know that that rejection can knock you down a peg or two. It puts your self-esteem into check and deflates that puffed up chest you have. When you’re dating someone, you start to think that you’re the best they’ll ever get and that they’d never leave you. However, when they tell you to kick rocks, you suddenly are hit with the realization that you are replaceable. This new-found humility is a likable trait, so don’t be surprised if people start noticing your new down-to-earth demeanor.
2. It Build Emotional Strength
When you’ve faced a rejection in the past, you’re going to build yourself a nice little wall to help protect yourself from being hurt again. When you’re rejected by a crush or a partner, that wall becomes a little thicker and you’re going to be a lot more cautious with giving people your heart in the future. This isn’t you being afraid, it’s you growing. It’s you realizing that not everyone is going to be gentle with your emotions. It’s you understanding that not everyone has the same intentions as you do, and sometimes they are going to hurt you. With these realizations, you’re going to become more judgmental, more leery of what people tell you, and you’re going to take your time with new relationships.
3. You Are Guilt-Free
If you’ve ever been the dumper, you know that there is the burden of guilt that goes along with breaking someone’s heart — it’s just the way it is (unless the person you were dating turned out to be a horrible person and deserved to be dumped!). However, since you were on the receiving end of the relationship pink slip, you don’t have to worry about guilt. You don’t have to bear the burden of someone’s grief and you don’t have to deal with trying to break the news in a way that is going to shatter them. No… Your job is to listen. Sure, while they are telling you it’s over and you’re trying to keep your composure, you can rest assured that they are going to have a pit in their stomach. You can place all the blame on them for your heartache. Them? If they have a conscience, they are going to be the ones wondering if they did the right thing or not. They are going to be the ones being restless at night because they made someone they once had feelings for cry.
4. You Can Learn
While it’s true that your ex was the reason for your heartache and you’ve placed that blame solely on them, the truth is, it takes two to tango. This is your time to reflect on the relationship and see what you may have done to cause them to fall out of love with you. Yes, we understand that being introspective can be harmful, especially if you realize that you weren’t nearly as great of a partner as you thought you were. However, it’s important that you understand that there may be some validity to why they wanted to break up. When you’re able to look back at the relationship and see where things started falling apart, you can learn from those mistakes and make an effort to not repeat them in the future.
5. Emotional Distress Is Good
Okay, we aren’t suggesting that you should do stuff that causes you emotional pain all the time, but we are suggesting that you embrace the pain and use it to better yourself. This pain you feel can be the inspire you to make those changes that you’ve been talking about. Start going to the gym more. Start volunteering more. Stop drinking and partying so much. Whatever it is that cause of the break up was, use that as your motivation to change and move forward. Use this time to reconnect with friends that you may not have talked to in a while. Hell, pick up some old hobbies that you haven’t done in a while. These distractions will help you work out that pain and you may find that you’ll be able to move on much quicker than if you just drowned your sorrow in a bottle of wine.
6. Change is Always Great
After you’ve been dating someone for a while, you fall into this routine that can be hard to break out of — unless you two break up and you’re forced to switch things up. After a breakup, you’ll become more open to new opportunities. You’ll be interested in doing new things, meeting new people, going to new places. This is a time for newness and you’ve got to embrace it! While you may think that you want to block out the world during this time, what you really should be doing is blocking out the past and welcoming the world with open arms. Yes, grieving is okay, but don’t forget to wipe the tears away and greet the day anew!